Confidence is Key

Confidence is never an easy topic, it’s not even that easy to grasp. I know everyone struggles with this, even if they say they don’t, in some way, shape, or form they do. I know I have always struggles with being confident. I think that’s because from an early age society always taught me not to be. It wasn’t okay to be a smart girl, to be taller than boys, to be faster than them, and so many other societal rules. I would never talk out loud in class and I certainly wouldn’t volunteer to go write the answer on the board. I guess, I also had a fear of being wrong or someone making fun of me in some way. I also hate having attention on me, so that could be a lot of it too. Regardless, I never had very much confidence growing up, and it’s become apart of me. I have let it define me in ways that it shouldn’t. I have let it control my decisions and thinking capabilities. I don’t think I’ll ever be fully confident, but I’m getting closer and closer to it each day.

It’s definitely a roller-coaster ride of emotions and road blocks. I am okay with not being confident, because it keeps me humble and grounded. Sadly, being confident is seen as being cocky or full-of-ones self. There is a difference, though sometimes the line is blurred. I am confident in certain areas and always have been; it’s a quiet confidence. I am confident in subjects I am well studied in and have an interest in. I also find ways to show or prove (which is a negative word choice here) that I do know what I am talking about, and my confidence is right. Having a quiet confidence seems to work well for me, because I surprise people. I know that sounds so trivial to say, but it’s always nice to see the look on their face when I’m right after all. To see their expression change and then have them say I did a good job. There’s something very satisfying about it.

With confidence comes beauty, because always doubting yourself and having that insecurity is not attractive. You shouldn’t be with someone who makes you feel insecure, but at the same time you shouldn’t be with someone if you’re not fully comfortable in your own skin. That is just asking for a multitude of problems. Not only will it just doom the relationship from the start, but it will hurt you more in the process. You can’t fully care and love someone, when you don’t do the same for yourself. This is something I struggle with daily, not as bad as I used to, but again everyone does to some level. Being with the right person has a lot to do with it as well; which is contradictory to what I just said, let me clarify. You shouldn’t be with someone until you’re comfortable and confident in yourself. You will still have confidence issues, but not as bad. In turn, being with someone who makes you feel completely comfortable and washes away all self-doubt, will help tremendously with confidence. They will make you feel confident and worthy in yourself; there is no better feeling, believe me.

Remember there is a difference in cockiness and confidence. Confidence isn’t natural (for everyone), it’s learned. It takes baby steps. Working on yourself is helpful to gaining confident. You have to like you first, and the rest tends to fall into place. Everyone and thing is uniquely made and beautiful on its own; beautiful things don’t ask to be seen.